To be positive! (B+) <- not my actual blood type, sorry to disappoint.  

Unfortunately though, it isn’t always the case. I am most upset with myself when my initial reaction to someone sharing some amazing news about their life is comparing my accomplishments to it and not being able to just fully celebrate with them. My inner monologue takes a weird turn in that I become like a disappointed in-law to myself! “Why can’t you be that successful?” “They did it just fine, but you seem to be struggling a little too much?” “Maybe you should just quit, people might think you are just doing it because they did it…” the lines are never ending. 

First, let’s look at the most obvious point to all of this. Just because someone else is “winning” at their current affairs, doesn’t mean you are “losing” at yours. Plain and simple. More often than not, you are just at a different step of the journey that they have probably been through also, just at a different time. 

Imagine a time in your life when you had something amazing happen and you wanted to call someone or meet up with them and tell them the great news! How much greater does that news feel when you can have someone to be exited along with you? It’s a great feeling to receive, and when we are truly just as excited for the person we give it to, it feels just as good to give! Don’t deny yourself an extra dose of joy in your day by not experiencing second-hand elation of good news from a friend! That is what really happens when we start comparing our grass to theirs. We don’t gain any more momentum on our pursuits, or new perspective on how to accomplish our goals. We simply miss out on an opportunity to spread joy and also to receive it. 

This might be hard to to re-frame for some people. It is for me at times, hence the whole reason I shared this internal struggle. The fact that the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” even exists tells me that this isn’t a new issue to the human condition. Here is what helped me though – realizing that the point of celebration that my friend is at, happened because they went through a lot of fertilizer to make that grass so green. That point alone is so powerful in reframing a thought. This didn’t just happen to them out of thin air, they are just at a different point on the timeline than I am. You want to really congratulate them, then use that point to also reference their hard work in getting to that point. “I am so happy you are seeing the fruits of this labor!”, “your passion in reaching your goal is inspiring!”. Who wouldn’t want to get this kind of compliment? I also guarantee that these friends will also be the ones to share them back to you once you reach a milestone in your goals. Receive it when that happens, because you also know how much joy it can spread to them by getting the chance to celebrate a friend (if they aren’t worried about their own grass, and if they are, hopefully they can see what they are missing out on soon.)

Don’t let negative self thoughts steal an opportunity to experience and give joy. Celebrate those around you and watch how infectious it becomes. Who doesn’t love a reason to party!