Specific to me!

Sounds easy enough right? “What would your significant other buy themselves?” If only it was that simple. To not make light of this, it would be nice if something that I had wanted to get a some point ended up under the tree or in a stocking. This fact is usually undisputed. I will propose though, that there are some people out there that enjoy the surprise of getting something as a gift that they didn’t even realize they needed! Fair warning though, if your partner needs to upgrade their deodorant game, it would probably be better to have a heart to heart chat and not find out about it by getting axe body spray from Santa. 

One year, my wife had purchased me a new headset that I can wear when I play games with my friends. This was not something that was on my list because I had a headset that was ok and was willing to get by with it so I had never mentioned anything about it. It was a huge surprise to me that she went out of her way to ask those who join me in some of my hobbies for suggestions of things that could help me enjoy that hobby more. A new headset is great, but what was more thoughtful to me was the effort of investing time in discovering things about me that she would probably not be too interested in otherwise. 

This may seem like another long-winded story that has nothing to do with the heading, but it is a great point to kick this off on. What does your significant other do for fun or as a hobby? Again, I know it sounds simple, and I will admit that most searches done on the internet will tell you that men’s hobbies should be based around dressing nicely, drinking whiskey or beer, playing some kind of outdoor yard game, or deal with smoking their own meats/roasting their own coffee. If this is the case for your partner, go for it! There are plenty of wonderful ideas that are quickly found in subscription boxes or in every Black Friday sale from most big box stores. What I want to touch on though are the significant others (S/Os) in our life that maybe have hobbies that are off the beaten path – or maybe they are in a transition period in life and are trying to reconnect with a hobby or find a new hobby all together! They aren’t alone, believe me. Hopefully this can be a great idea generator to help them experience new ways to enjoy themselves without having to struggle through learning how to brew IPAs in their basement. 

1. Focus on the arts and culture in the area you live

My family lives in Charlotte and I have had so much fun learning, experiencing, and contributing to the expansive arts culture in our city. Thankfully, Charlotte provides so many amazing expressions of different arts and entertainments that it is really easy to find ways to join in where you are and with what you think is most interesting. Groupon is usually a good way to kick off these kind of experiences, but I challenge you to not just stop at searching Groupon. Find an event or experience you think would be interesting for your S/O and then reach out to that local chapter or organization and see what ways there are to get involved outside of that one-time Groupon experience. There might even be a chance to learn a new skill that gets you out of your comfort zone and into a passion that you can share with everyone around you! This was Improv for me and it is one of my first recommendations for anyone who enjoys comedy and creative collaboration. 

For those who may not be as focused on the arts, recently I was informed of an organization that focuses on the Native American culture and have many events and ways for people to learn and get involved in helping with the programs and events. Find some of the things that make your state special and there will most certainly be a way to get involved using your skills or learn new skills to help.

Another way of getting involved in your area is looking into local non-profit organizations and seeing what ways you can jump in to help. These are just a few ways to fill a stocking with admission to an event for Christmas or near that time of year, but also offer great ways to try and join into groups that are doing great things in your area all year long. Partnering with a group provides many opportunities for personal growth and has been one of the most fulfilling times I have had in collaborating with others to create and share with our community.

1. Backyard and board games are great, but don’t just stop at the equipment

We have all seen the plethora of bean bag toss boards that have made their way around the US. It seems like it is a standard household item to not just have a bean bag toss board, but to have one that is customized to your favorite sports team, drink of choice, movie, even your favorite child’s face. It is an easy win to hop over to Etsy and get one of these shipped in time to make into Santa’s bag for delivery, but why not go above and beyond? Check your local park and rec department to see if there are tournaments! Maybe a club has started where people get to meetup and “talk shop” for their favorite game. Organized team sports don’t have to stop with little league.

Similar to backyard games, card and board games have seem to be gaining a huge following. Check out some local tournaments on a particular card game in your area (Magic the Gathering, Pokémon, Disney Lorcana, etc.) Not only do these games provide a fun chance to win prizes in local tournaments, but they can also be fun chances to collect and play the games together as a family. Family game night should be a standard in all households if you ask my opinion. Every child deserves a chance to be crushed in Monopoly by a parent or older sibling.

1. Bring back the classics

While you are reaching out to your local parks and rec department to ask about bean bag toss tournaments, why not look and see if there are any local skills classes going on! Recently I was informed by an uncle of mine out of town that he was able to attend a workshop on whittling and truly enjoyed it. For those who may not know what whittling is, the best I can explain it would be taking a block of wood and carving out chunks with a knife until you have a tiny sculpture. My uncle was so happy to pull out this small block of wood from his shirt pocket to show me a half-carved rabbit, and his joyous expression increased as he explained the process and how long he has been working on this rabbit. This is one of those kind of ideas that was mentioned earlier – something you didn’t even know you needed! 

Another example of a classic experience gift, is a recent gift I gave my wife that she has since explained how much she really enjoyed re-connecting with the passion project of pottery. Having been to a pottery painting studio, that kind of outing is a fun one-off kind of event, but I encourage you to look for workshops and studios who offer opportunities to learn and experience making the pottery yourself. Either on the wheel or free form, pottery can be creative stress reliever with potential to be recurring event for those who enjoy it. 

Lastly, look at an instrument that your S/O maybe played years ago or has expressed interest in learning. Music lessons are easily acquired with options that range from in-person at local music shops/studios to online through various websites. Start with a few lessons to see if they are truly interested in it. You don’t have to become a professional, but there is always joy in getting to play your favorites around a campfire or at a gathering with friends! Most beginner instruments won’t break the bank either.

It is pretty obvious that my ideas center around a full experience that can last beyond Christmas Day and don’t just require an item that gets used for a few months and then collects dust until the next yard sale. I share these types of ideas because they are some things that I find interesting and fulfilling, but they also provide something more satisfying than personal fulfillment, and that is the opportunity to connect with and contribute to the community around you. What better time of year to do just that than the Christmas season? So many people suffer silently during this time of year due to many circumstances and can benefit from joy being shared to them not just with a physical gift, but a shared experience with their neighbor. If you are someone who could use some of that kind of shared joy this year, look for these opportunities to connect with those around you. If you are someone who has been blessed with family, friends, and all your needs are met, then I encourage you to look into these opportunities to share that kind of joy with those who don’t have the same enjoyments. Learn and grow together and Christmas can truly be what one of my favorite songs describes it as, “the most wonderful time of the year.”

These suggestions may not just be local to Charlotte, but I would like to hear of maybe some other ideas that you have for helping give a gift that does more than just fill a stocking. Leave a comment with some of your favorite ideas or maybe even a gift you received that was meaningful to you in a similar way!

All the best to you this holiday season.